21 Things I want to be.

  • I wanted to reach out to other creative spirits and interact with new people: That Happened.
  • I wanted to free write and think and find new projects to dream of: That Happened.
  • I wanted to Get Moving, step out of my comfort zone, and Try New Things: That Happened.

Today is the last day of the Original 21.5.800. There is a 10 day extension some are using. I debated treating it as a compact whole, like NaNoWriMo was for me in the fall of 2006. A start, a middle, an end.

That now feels contrived. I can’t just stop what has become a healthy habit.  I think this change is Just Getting Started.

Somewhere my mind reminds me that it’s about 21 days or so to ingrain a new discipline, to let a new change take hold. If I stop, the immediate thought that comes forward is one of scattering sand over something newly revealed. It’s as if this project was my own archeological dig and some discoveries of What Was Hiding there began. I don’t want that first public yoga class to me The Only One. I don’t want these new contacts to stay in the box labeled “What I Did June 2010”. I don’t want the list of new ideas to get put away on a shelf, untended.

So I’m not.

I will continue with this habit that I’ve found to be very rhythmic, therapeutic, and attainable. I can write 800 words a day. I can write professionally and personally; I’ve remembered how. I can do some form of yoga 5 days a week. I’m putting the “21” part back into my Life-File: previously it was my favorite “21 Things” by Alanis Morissette.

Come again?

Yes. The lyrics were shocking to me when I first heard them. First, I was in a marriage that was just about as opposite as the lover described in the song could be. Second, I was unfamiliar with a woman’s ability to state what she wanted out of something; this song was one of the first times I mentally dallied with Knowing What I Wanted for myself, personally, in a way that wasn’t someone telling me what I was “supposed” to want. Alanis often writes songs that parallel something in my own life; we’re the same age, born in the same month. For some odd reason it seems that is part of it. She’s been the soundtrack for my anger, my self-analysis process, my hopes, my grief. But I digress. 21 Things.

“21 Things I Want In A Lover”

Do you derive joy when someone else succeeds?
Do you not play dirty when engaged in competition?
Do you have a big intellectual capacity but know
that it alone does not equate to wisdom?
Do you see everything as an illusion
but enjoy it even though you are not of it?
Are you both masculine and feminine, politically aware, and don’t believe in capital punishment?

These are 21 things that I want in a lover
Not necessarily needs but qualities that I prefer

Do you derive joy from diving in and seeing that
loving someone can actually feel like freedom? Are you funny and self-deprecating, like adventure, and have many formed opinions?

These are 21 things that I want in a lover
Not necessarily needs but qualities that I prefer
I figure I can describe it since I have a choice in the matter
These are 21 things I choose to choose in a lover

I’m in no hurry; I could wait forever
I’m in no rush cause I like being solo
There are no worries and certainly no pressure In the meantime I’ll live like there’s no tomorrow

Are you uninhibited in bed, more than three times a week, up for being experimental?
Are you athletic?
Are you thriving in a job that helps your brother?
Are you not addicted?

These are 21 things that I want in a lover
Not necessarily needs but qualities that I prefer
I figure I can describe it since I have a choice in the matter
These are 21 things I choose to choose in a lover

Not unlike many of my vision-boards-that-come-true, I can now say I chose to choose this: The Love has every one of these 21 Things. When I think of “21”, that’s what I remember.

Interestingly the lyrics to the song also describe a lot of what I’ve found through this project. The people I’ve interacted with are fiercely creative (that’s you!). They are compassionate. They listen. They support one another. They are open. There is none of the nasty “girl clique” competition going on; no playing dirty. They are intelligent, messy, honest, humble, ambitious, courageous, bold.

Funny thing about 21 Things: to attract a person of that quality, it seems one has to strive to be a person of the same. I think the same goes for 21.5.800. Be anothers’ support and encouragement. Listen. Cheer. Participate. Ponder.

21 was just a birth, a start. It’s not static. I think the project’s creator (and many others) have found this is a process that can not be contained. The ripples will continue.

I have to get back to work. Tuesday will be like Monday. I’m not really a Star Wars freaky-fan but I do love this Yoda quote: “Do or do not…there is no try”. I will either do it or I won’t and if I don’t, there’s always tomorrow.

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About tiajulianna

Creative spirit with a soul that is healing; inquisitive mind, maternal heart and very stubborn redhead who believes People Are Beautiful.
This entry was posted in Journeys, Thoughts, Writing and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to 21 Things I want to be.

  1. WOW … that really made me stop and *think* and I love the shorthand of just ’21’.

    I do believe when you commit yourself to a project (like 21.5.800 or NaMoWriMo), it changes you in some deep way that you don’t even realize yet but come in time. I’m glad you are integrating the shifts that happened and look forward to reading what you wish to share from it.

    Great post – thank you.

  2. K says:

    You said it well. It has changed me in ways I can’t even share yet. My writing is back, my body, mind, spirit responds to the yoga in ways I never dreamed possible. It would be a crime against myself to stop.

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